It sounds like we should seriously consider setting up some self-help groups for Hogaholics. Remember that with all addictions admitting that you have a problem is always the first step to recovery. Perhaps they should start offering recovery programs on the NHS since Hogaholism is clearly becoming a national crisis.
I have developed coping strategies for the worst effects of Hogaholism, I have stopped wearing nighties for one and that has prevented me from chasing cameras early in the morning. I think I am cured of that aspect of it now.
I have also stopped myself from pandering to all their whims and foibles. For example, regularly moving their food to set them challenges is a good one because it gives me a sense of being in control. Although they prefer Spikes semi-moist I now force them to eat Spikes Dry for days on end and not only does this save money but also increases one’s feeling of self-empowerment that again I am in control, not them. I no longer feel victimised and this is a major step towards recovery from Hogaholism.
Remember that every time you feel the urge to do something for them that you should fight it. Falling under their spell is fatal and will drive you further into the clutches of Hogaholism, you must recognise that however sweet they may appear that they ARE out to get you. They have a master plan to take over control of your garden, your house, your finances and yes, your children.
If you doubt me then just take a close look at a hedgehog. Can you spot the similarity between their faces and Jeremy Corbyn? Need I say more?
