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Home Forums Hedgehog tales The siege has begun Reply To: The siege has begun


Ah tis the season once again of wining and dining (and even whining) and my little buggers are full of the joys of spring and dutch courage.
Hermione (featherwight 620g punches above her weight and swears like a trooper) has once more declared that whilst she is dining no one else gets a look in and that includes Herman (heavyweight 1.4kg wuss) She will shout and swear and threaten all sorts of dastardly deeds and if that doesn’t work, usually she shouts so hard she goes backwards, she will charge and push everyone else away.
Tiggy is in the mood for luurve and as a result i have a new male who has turned up.
I haven’t weighed him or marked him yet as he is still a bit wary and shy and has a cool deer in the headlights look when he realises i can see him.

He started off with the usual wooing and cooing but since Tiggy likes her noms he was soundly rebuffed with a “bugger orf, i am eating my dinner (in the voice of Waynetta Slob)
After an hour or so of being roundly snubbed no matter which way he circled he headed off for a rethink and a look at the hog karma sutra for inspiration.

Night same ritual again before Tiggy headed off to my dying greenhouse to have a row with Hermione and Nursie (680g face like a slapped arse).
Once silence had mostly descended along comes our hopeful challenger for the paw of Tiggy who, upon seeing him wandering over all lovelorn and hopeful backed her rear end up against the greenhouse and proceeded to call him unladylike names.
This had no effect as he tried to woo her by circling.
After 30 mins of him finding his way blocked by the greenhouse and having his lineage insulted roundly he scuttled off to the rear of the greenhouse by the compost bin.
As this was new territory to him he had a wander round and found he could get into the greenhouse via a missing pane and then out through the front door.

I could see his little hoggy noggin working overtime.
He wandered round the side and crashed into Tiggy who was not best pleased.
Cue more swearing.
He then realised that he could strut his funky stuff if he went round her to the greenhouse side, along the side, crashing through the greenhouse and out the front and along the side till her swearing let him know he had arrived whereupon he repeated.
It might have worked since she is putting on weight, i gave him 10/10 for effort.
It will however upset Junior (1 kg and a true romeo) since he is Tiggy’s usual beau.

Hermione is a sucker for Bungle (940g face looks like he ran into a wall which is why nursie looks like him unfortunately) he must have something since it isn’t looks.

Edmond and Edwina (siblings 9606, 860g) are more interested in food at the moment so we shall see who woose whom.