Boom time in hedgehog DIY industry….
5th October 2018 at 7:59 am #12277
The DIY industry in my garden is experiencing a major boom at the moment as hoards of hedgehogs (brought up on a diet of “Pimp My Derelict Hovel” TV shows) are undertaking major renovations to their properties.
As a hog community minded soul, over the last 2 weeks I have been donating piles of hay to the local Hay Bank and each morning the piles have completely disappeared. Once such generous donations enter the industry we of course have no control over what they then do with these raw materials. I now know that the hogs have been putting it on auction sites like E-Hay and selling it to other gardens!! Yesterday there was a trail of hay down the garden, under the fence and into next door. So it appears they are now smuggling hay and fueling the DIY gig economy next door which is well beyond the Building Control Regulations in my garden.
I am convinced that the bungalows being renovated in the corner of my garden must now be overflowing with hay and that rogue builders are taking the surplus to construct dodgy properties elsewhere. All hogs should be aware of these practices and if in doubt to contacts Trading Standards.
Yes, the hogs are getting prepared for a sleepover….5th October 2018 at 8:57 am #12278
made me laugh this morning. you are so lucky to have so many residents. I guess the trails of hay give away where they may be hiding at this time and how many ‘pimped hovels’ there are in the vicinity.
Clever hogs will be making us of the dry weather, certainly we are seeing in the south east, to get their homes refurbished ready for winter hibernation. lets hope it increases their chances of a successful ‘sleepover’ and that we see more of them emerge in the Spring.5th October 2018 at 9:23 am #12280
I love your description, Williamc. As always!5th October 2018 at 3:44 pm #12292
Brilliant! 🙂9th October 2018 at 9:04 am #12357
Something is definitely going here. As I have said SO many times previously, they’re up to something!
Since I wrote the above, every time they take all the fresh hay I put more more out and it all goes again. They’ve taken FAR more than necessary to fill my two bungalows (which I’d half stocked anyway) and yet more disappears presumably to the firm of rogue builders putting up an estate next door. This has now taken a new twist.
Not only is the hay vanishing but also all the dry Spikes food. I give them a mixture of moist and dry and usually they eat all the moist and are a bit “meh” about the dry “well, if that’s all there is I’ll eat it but meh”. Now however they are only taking the dry and mountains of it, I mean LOADS. Too much in fact, I just havn’t got that many hogs! This leads me to a rather scary conclusion……
I think the rogue builders are making structures out of dry food walls and lining them with hay. Or mixing the two together like wattle & daub which with the addition of some good old mud would make a cement like substance. I think they’re extending their command and control bunker under may garden. We’re now at DEFCON 2.9th October 2018 at 10:37 am #12361
Thanks for providing yet another laugh! I really think it would be good in a book. Moles and rabbits had theirs, so why not hedgehogs!9th October 2018 at 1:10 pm #12363
how lovely! I do enjoy your missives!
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